V/H/S (Retrospective Review)

When the first V/H/S came out, I remember thinking that the movie was conceptually one of the greatest releases to come out at the time for horror fans. I praised the unique and fresh approach to its narrative direction and ideas and held it up as being ambitious and creative compared to its mainstream counterparts. Each horror short in the anthology format felt like a creepy and crazy urban legend passed around that we get to now witness the actual archival footage source of which really appealed to me especially remembering the late 90s to early 2000's where urban legends were a huge thing. 

With each tape cycled through, my eyes were completely glued to the screen in high anticipation of what I was about to see whether or not the end result was as well produced as one would hope. Sequels later and the franchise has certainly seen its fair share of ups and downs in quality with each anthology segments released. And although I've done reviews for most of the V/H/S movies, I've never quite done a full short by short review for the first two entries hence why I've decided to look back and talk about them through the prism of a retrospective commentary of sorts. With that said, let's dive into each segment and see which one sticks the landing this time around possibly even holding up by today's standards and which one completely fails altogether. 

1. Tape 56 - 4/10

I'm not honestly not even sure how to rate this one. It's the first thing we see in this franchise and acts as our connective tissue for what's to come in the future, but it's also one of the most easily discarded entries of any V/H/S title. Honestly, Tape 56 feels like this weird distraction insert that maybe could've been a great creepy short about criminals breaking into a house to uncover something truly terrifying, but ends up never fulfilling any of that potential whatsoever. The problem is that it's highly forgettable in the grand scheme of things making it very easy to dismiss from the whole anthology experience.

The characters are certainly not enjoyable to watch and follow along considering their actions and behavior (and yes I'm aware that they're low-life criminals but even a group like this could've been somewhat entertaining if casted or directed a certain way). Now yes, the scare factor of the whole thing does show a slight little bit of promise once we get to the main house setting of the story where the mystery of the several TVs, tapes, and random dead body becomes the main point of interest. Sadly, there's just not enough being done here to feel warranted enough to act as a short on its own and instead ends up being a questionable overarching narrative at best and a tremendously dull horror short at worst.

2. Amateur Night - 8/10

Solid special FX work and a visually striking design for a horror creature is what elevates "Amateur Night" into iconic status for the V/H/S franchise. For years now, whenever anyone talks about this series in regards to its best shorts or ranking each one by quality, this is the one entry that always seem to make it on top of everyone's list. Well, there's a good reason for that considering that even now, after all of this time, this film still gets a skin crawling reaction out of me. This is all thanks to its spotlight monster who has essentially become the unofficial poster child for the entire franchise due to its memorable nature. 

And although I was not a fan of the events leading up to the creature reveal itself (the fact that we have to follow along a group of obnoxious, women objectifying/manipulative men for a while), the actual teasing and payoff of the succubus-like monster genuinely sent chills down my spine.  Hannah Fierman (the actress who plays the creature) does a stellar job at creeping out the audience even before the shocking transformation and attack takes place. This is a shining example of having little to work with budget-wise but successfully making up for it thanks to other components of the filmmaking process that more than achieves what's needed to engross the audience. 

In this case, it's as simple as giving fans an exceptionally presented monster and just letting the chaos unfold around it in a way that feels both disturbing and disgusting in all the right ways. 

3. Second Honeymoon - 6/10

What saves this short is the fact that the central relationship isn't entirely annoying to watch and is rather passable enough to get by. There's also a nice moment of suspense with the mysterious killer/thief poking around the cabin while the couple asleep messing with them. The semi-eerie feeling of uncertainty revolving around the whole situation did kinda catch my attention in one or two areas. Also, the mask of the killer, albeit briefly seen, immediately took me back to the mask design from Alice, Sweet Alice (an underrated slasher film that I enjoyed) so that was a fun little bonus.

However, the actual big kill scene that takes place in addition to the killer twist reveal felt a bit jarring and had me questioning the point of the short afterwards. So I'd say Second Honeymoon barely gets a pass for not being obnoxious, entirely boring, or frustrating to watch like some of the other V/H/S shorts in the franchise. Unfortunately, there just isn't enough here to really warrant recommending or re-watching this in the future which is a shame to say for any movie in general. It's a slightly less than half baked idea that isn't necessarily bad per se but certainly feels lacking in its overall concept and execution. 

4. Tuesday the 17th - 4/10

This short had a great idea for a horror villain utilizing the found footage format in a unique manner to create something new for the slasher genre. Having this group of people being attacked in the woods by a killer that appears in the form of a glitching silhouette on camera is actually a pretty creative idea (particularly for this style of horror presented). The issue however comes with the notably cringeworthy acting and dialogue occasionally coming from our protagonist which does distract a little from everything that's going on. The climax, once the twist is revealed that the main character brought everyone their as bait to trap and kill the killer, is admittedly sort of engaging to watch. 

Unfortunately, the big payoff leaves much to be desired and simply comes off as literally in-your-face shock value gore more so than anything remotely as interesting as its premise. It's a shame because I do believe that the concept is genuinely intriguing and could've made for something special for both slasher and found footage horror fans alike merging the two categories to create something new. As a result, I'd simply stamp Tuesday the 17th with a giant "Waste of Potential" label and move onto something else hopefully worth my time. It's definitely not worth recommending for anyone to watch, but a better filmmaker could perhaps do something of note with the general idea presented. 

Looking at where we are now in 2024, there's definitely a hungry market for fresh horror IPs amidst the small resurgence of the supernatural slasher genre, so the time is honestly perfect for this to be remade into something bigger and better.

 

5. The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When She Was Younger - 5/10

Acting as one of the earliest examples of what we know today as the "Screenlife" format of film, I've always referenced this short as being the overlooked pioneer of that trend. Similar to my feelings on Second Honeymoon, the strongest component of this particular short is its central couple relationship (thanks to serviceable enough performances). Although in this case, the relationship is a little more interesting to watch due to the fact that we quickly introduce some curiosity-teasing ideas between the two. First is the haunted house situation with Emily dealing with what appears to be ghosts in her home as well as something strange gradually happening to her body with each passing day. 

However, once everything begins to escalate with the reveal of these so-called ghosts actually being more alien than anything as well as the boyfriend character being in on the whole thing, the short tethers into cheesy b-movie territory very quickly. First off, these supposed ghost children entities look as cheap and generic as you can get which is definitely no help to the immersion factor of the short. Also, the boyfriend talking to them like a frustrated servant just made the whole thing feel a lot more goofy than perhaps I would've expected prior with the build up beforehand. Really the only thing that saves this short in the end is the dark and twisted conclusion of the boyfriend continuing to manipulate Emily while also manipulating another woman directly afterwards. 

It's a messed up twist that did slightly get under my skin (in an appropriately angry way) which I suppose means that the filmmakers did do something right. However, the scares go from promising to silly very abruptly in the second half which is a bummer and the short falls flat in the end as a result.

6. 10/31/98 - 6/10

An entertaining haunted house thrill ride that doesn't waste time in getting to the spectacle of its central setting. Overall, I did enjoy this one enough due to the cast of characters not being annoying to watch and the numerous amounts of "supernatural stuff" being thrown at the audience to enjoy at every corner. It's essentially one big rollercoaster of haunted house/paranormal found footage gimmicks all in one short cinematic package and it never tries to be anything more than that. This might sound like a negative for some, but honestly given the nature of the series, I was perfectly fine with this simplistic approach. 

The only thing that really sinks this short into mediocrity is its clear low budget production values. This is one of those cases in film history where you can clearly see that the money simply wasn't there to fit the grand scoped ideas that were being pursued by the filmmakers themselves. And yet...it's still not a bad watch. 

Rating: 6/10